lovelysquares

Swipe to see what made my heart burst tonight after a LONG day. H’s love squeezes and J going in to grab my face for a kiss. Oh. My. Heart. *trigger warning*
Today was my D&C follow up appointment with a new doctor that specializes in women with multiple MCs. I have been so anxious the last few days, and yesterday and last night were especially hard. I built it up into this big huge thing that would solve all my problems. And then we went to the appointment. And he told me they didn’t have a plan because they forgot to do one of the blood tests. And the tissue they sent for analysis was mostly mine. So he sent me down to the lab for another draw. And he promised to call about the tissue. And more waiting. At least 10 days to get the *hopefully last* blood results back. And if they do want the baby’s, it will be longer. And it almost feels like I’ll have to grieve all over again, to give her up again. . All I want are answers. All I want is a plan. I am feeling so frustrated, because this NEVER would have happened with my midwives. They always called if they needed anything, always called to check in, to keep me updated. I know this new doctor sees many more patients, I know he knows what he’s doing, I know I was referred to him for a reason. But this is why I left “mainstream” care. Because I was tired of being treated like a number, not a person. Hearing “oh whoops… it looks like we forgot a test. Here, take this request and walk down the hall and we’ll get the results back in 10 to 14 days.”
And that’s it. . I know I’m lucky, I am more aware of what I *do* have than ever. But three hours of my and my family’s time was wasted today. This appointment has been scheduled for weeks. I called last week to confirm. Nothing was ever said to me about this missing test. I know doctors are busy, but so am I. So I sit here again, more needles, more tests, more waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting. It feels like that’s what this journey of infertility is laced with. Disappointment. And waiting. •
•
•
• •
•
•
•
• #RainbowBaby #Motherhood #IG_Motherhood #theDulcetLife #makemoments #flashesofdelight #holdthemoments #stayandwander #embracingaslowerlife #motherhoodalive

Headed to Las Vegas in a few days for the FIRST time! Crazy, right? Let me know if you have any recommendations on where to go and what to see! #vegas

Watched @tagthemovie tonight and it was anchored in this cute quote. There was some debate whether or not this can be attributed to Benjamin Franklin or not, so I’m leaving it unclaimed 🤷🏻‍♀️😅

TEAM IGNITE! 🔥 what lights the fire within YOU???? . . I’m so elated and overcome with gratitude tonight! When I started coaching, growing a team of my own was something I thought wouldn’t happen anytime soon. But you guys, my tribe is growing! My tribe is thriving and helping so many people change their lives! How is this even a job?! I’m so dang proud of my girls! . . When I started coaching I knew 3 things! . . 💜I wanted to stay home with my babies! ❤️I loved helping people and interacting and gaining genuine relationships with people! 💚 I wanted to find a community of women who felt the same way as me! I have found purpose and joy in helping other people on their own health and wellness journeys, all the while working on myself! I’m a better wife and mother when I take time to fill my own cup, so that I can pour from it! The business side of coaching was a bonus. 🌟

If you saw my stories recently you may have seen that sadly enough I miscarried. I can’t quite explain how I feel but there’s a lot of sadness involved. Bruce + Jax have been extra lovey and giving me all the extra cuddles I’m in need of. Who knew they had even more love to give? I’m beyond thankful for @thatdadbruce 💗 he truly is the best and has been making sure I’m physically + emotionally recovering. Extra kisses, letting me cry on his shoulder, cuddles and cookies... etc.🍪 Also, a huge thank you to all of you who took the time to message me + keep me in your prayers. I’m still getting through all the messages so bear with me. 💗

𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴. — 𝘊.𝘎. 𝘑𝘶𝘯𝘨 #glitterguide #pursuewhatislovely #pursuepretty #flashesofdelight #postitfortheaesthetic #theeverygirl #nothingisordinary #howyouglow #petitejoys #thatsdarling #darlingmovement #darlingdaily #thehappynow #livethelittlethings #theverydayproject #myunicornlife #makeitblissful #thatauthenthicfeeling #seekthesimplicity #chooselovely #prettylittlethings #enjoythelittlethings #mybeautifulmess #abmlifeiscolorful #abmlifeisbeautiful #abmlifeissweet #abmhappylife #lovelysquares #nyc

The Eclipse || Jacob Hashimoto . We only have 7 school days left and we're pretty excited about our summer vacation starting soon. So, we started putting together a summer bucket list of some sort that we may or may not get to by the end of summer. . First thing we crossed off our list is this exhibit by Jacob Hashimoto in Governor's Island. It's not exactly what the girls had in their bucket list, but it's definitely in mine 😉 -- But they did have the island on their list, so this was a win-win! Now, if only the rest of our list is this easy.🙄 . What's in your summer bucket list?

Lucy for weeks before her bday- “I want a Pinky Pie cake!!” Tony and I 🤔😶🙃😳 ummm, Okayyyyy. Sure, Lu! We’ll see what we can do!” Fast forward to two days before her bday, and: box cake + store bought frosting + shitty decorating skills = Your Pinky Pie cake! 🤣😂🤣 We usually do cakes made from scratch, but yeahhh- just gettin back from vacation and having no desire to put the time and energy into that—- you get what you get, sister! #reallife . . . #lucy #five #birthdaygirl #cake #makeawish #pinkypie #MyLittlePony #our_everyday_moments #documentyourdays #momlife #childhood #itshappyhere #lovelysquares #family #momofsix #brothers #sisters #makingmemories

𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘵𝘺. — 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘭 𝘑𝘶𝘯𝘨 #glitterguide #pursuewhatislovely #pursuepretty #flashesofdelight #postitfortheaesthetic #theeverygirl #nothingisordinary #howyouglow #petitejoys #thatsdarling #darlingmovement #darlingdaily #thehappynow #livethelittlethings #theverydayproject #myunicornlife #makeitblissful #thatauthenthicfeeling #seekthesimplicity #chooselovely #prettylittlethings #enjoythelittlethings #mybeautifulmess #abmlifeiscolorful #abmlifeisbeautiful #abmlifeissweet #abmhappylife #lovelysquares #nyc

Well I guess I'm up for a while ☺️ Where The Heart Is is my favorite movie (next to A Beautiful Mind) "She gave me that tree then she took me in when me and my baby had no place else in the world to go. I would rather be living with her again in that trailer than the finest home in Oklahoma" (This picture is how I felt at my first photography gig) Hope everyone had a beautiful day! #building2rebuild 💜 How are YOU Rebuilding? . . . . . #farmish #plainjane #wwhl #domesticabuse #abusedidntwin #lovelysquares #inspiremyinstagram #visualcrush #theeverygirl #oneofthebunch #feelfreefeed #morningslikethese #seekthesimplicity #darlingmovement #postitfortheaesthetic #pursuewhatislovely #fromabove #liveunscripted #domesticviolencesurvivor #fixerupper #hobbylobbyfarmhouse #ikeadecor #homedepotlife #lowes #menardshomeimprovement #bravotv #diynetwork @natalieportman @ashley_judd

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘶𝘣𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴: 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘥. — 𝘊.𝘎. 𝘑𝘶𝘯𝘨 #glitterguide #pursuewhatislovely #pursuepretty #flashesofdelight #postitfortheaesthetic #theeverygirl #nothingisordinary #howyouglow #petitejoys #thatsdarling #darlingmovement #darlingdaily #thehappynow #livethelittlethings #theverydayproject #myunicornlife #makeitblissful #thatauthenthicfeeling #seekthesimplicity #chooselovely #prettylittlethings #enjoythelittlethings #mybeautifulmess #abmlifeiscolorful #abmlifeisbeautiful #abmlifeissweet #abmhappylife #lovelysquares #nyc #nycnightlife